we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
