he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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