He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I want to be your penis for a week.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
