therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
