After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
