so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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