So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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