My friends, they love my intelligence
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
