we have officially lost it.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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