and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
