and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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