Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
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