He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
