Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
