That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
