And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
