Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
