Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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