high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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