Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Randomize
