Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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