lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
