Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
