Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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