There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
