Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
