just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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