I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
it wasn't lemon gatorade
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
