can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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