i would punch a child for taco bell
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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