Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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