just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
