i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
