you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I just googled if crying burns calories
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
