We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
