I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
