yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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