At least make sure they are 18
Why
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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