So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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