when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
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