i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
