i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
