Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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