I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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