i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I can't turn off my feet"
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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