it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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