Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
