think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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