even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
