she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
