i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
