I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
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